December 10, 2015

     That pen has sat on my desk all day. I couldn't bring myself to take it with me to school for fear of someone possibly stealing it. All I could think about all day long was that pen and that woman. Who had that woman been? Why had she given me that pen? I couldn't focus on anything the teachers were saying or even remember to take notes. 

     I was trying really hard to figure out whether what had happened was real or just in my head. I was really hoping that it was real. That I hadn't just imagined that woman. I hadn't imagined her giving me that beautiful fountain pen. If I had imagined it all it would mean that everyone was probably right about me. That there really is a screw loose somewhere in my head. I don't want to believe that there's something wrong with my mind. I don't want to tell my mom that her child was seeing things that aren't there. How would that make her feel? Would she worry for me or would she be afraid of me?

     All day I found myself tapping my pencil on my desk trying to will the clock to move faster. I wanted to go back home so I could take a closer look at that pen. Yesterday I had been too scared to even pick it up. I was too worried that it might just be all in my head. That even if I touch it and feel it's there that it's not actually there. When the final bell at the end of the day rang I rushed out the doors eager to get home. My mom wasn't home as usual. She's always putting in a lot of hours at the hospital she works out so she can make sure bills are paid.

     Sure enough sitting on my desk was that pen. The closer I got the more I noticed it was humming once again. Like it was welcoming me home. There wasn't any gears in it that I could see. Was I crazy to think that this pen is actually alive? I turned the pen over and over in my hand looking at every inch of the pen. I jumped when suddenly I felt pain on one of my fingers. Turning my hand over I noticed that I had cut myself on the tip of the pen. I hadn't realized it was that sharp. 

      I quickly dropped the pen on to my desk when the clear crystal suddenly turned a bright green. It looked like the crystal was sucking the color in through the tip like a liquid filling the space inside the pen. In a matter of minutes the pen was no longer clear in color but a bright green. The kind of green that you would see when the sun shines through a leaf. I tenderly picked up the pen again unsure of what was going to happen next. I let out a long breath relieved that nothing else happened. 

     I slowly picked up the pen again noticing that it wasn't humming any more. In fact it felt warm in my hands now. If I am insane there could be worse things I could be hallucinating than a pen changing colors in my hand.

     I pulled out my notebook unsure if whether this thing needed an ink well to use or there was something more to it. Who knows if this is all in my head I probably don't need ink at all. The thought made me crack a little smile as I looked around my room. My eyes fell on a butterfly lying on the window sill of my open window. It didn't take long for me to realize that the butterfly was dead. I sat there wondering how it had died. I wondered if it was possible that I had crushed it in the window when I was paying attention. I didn't like the idea that maybe it was my fault that something so delicate was killed because I was being careless. Every life matters right?

     Turning back to my notebook I placed the tip of the pen against the paper. When I lifted the pen back up I saw a single golden dot on the piece of paper. So there is ink in this thing. I put the tip of the pen back against the paper writing a single line on the paper. 

     The butterfly fluttered around the room before landing on top of the notebook.

     I sat back in my chair watching the words shine on the page. The ink looked almost like it was actual liquid gold. I jumped out of my chair when the words suddenly lifted off the page and evaporated into the air. I must have really lost it after all. 

     My heart stopped in my chest when the butterfly that had just been lying dead on my window sill landed on my notebook. I turned my head to look at the window sill to see that it was empty. There was no butterfly there any more. There was just the one with the powder blue wings sitting on my notebook. Had it just been stunned? What was going on?

     My head felt like it was spinning because I wasn't sure what was happening. I wasn't sure if I was losing my mind or experience something amazing. I quickly set the pen back down on my desk not sure what to think of it. 

     Unsure of what I should do I went downstairs. I sat down at the laptop that my mom and I share and surfed the web. There had to be something out there about magical pens. There had to some explanation for what was happening. I spent so many hours on the laptop that I didn't notice how much time passed till my mom came home. Seeing that it was close to midnight I crawled into bed thinking that maybe after some sleep things would start to make sense again. As of right now things were pretty crazy.

December 9, 2015

     I wasn't surprised with how cold it was today. It always seemed to suddenly get colder when December hits. What was surprising was the snow that was falling. Usually we don't see snow till closer to the new year. At least it was one positive thing about today. It's been another one of those days. I was definitely not surprised that when I got out of the shower after gym class my clothes were missing. Thankfully I've always got a back up just in case in my locker where no one could get to them. You would think though that by now I would know better than to leave my clothes right outside the shower. This is the third time this month this has happened. The only upside is that my clothes were eventually returned to me. Unfortunately it was usually in a bag filled with trash hanging from my locker. 

     It's been like this ever since I was eight years old. I used to have fun with friends going to sleepovers where we camped out in someone's backyard. I even used to have a best friend that had my back. The problem with children though is when you come off as crazy they are pretty quick to turn on you. It definitely doesn't help when you hear their parents telling your friends that it's better to stay away from me. Like I might infect their children with whatever crazy thoughts were in my head. The thing is I know I'm not crazy. There is no way I'm crazy. Yet what I was saying I had seen at the park when I was eight years old would seem crazy to anyone that doesn't believe in any kind of magic.    

     Thinking about it wouldn't you think something was off when a child comes running to you crying saying they saw a man literally melt. Definitely doesn't sound like something a normal, sane child would talk about. The problem was when the police showed up there was nothing left of the man I had seen melt. It was quickly decided that I had been making it up. No matter how much I protested that I know what I had seen was real. I could still close my eyes and see that man still.

     I could still see his dark brown eyes staring at me in horror. He didn't cry out in pain just had this terrified look on his face. I remembered how my body was shaking as I watched the skin fall off his face and the muscle liquefying. It wasn't till his left eye fell out that I ran crying to my mother. What I remember the most though was hearing someone laughing. The laughter sent a chill running up my spine even now nine years later. The laughter was cold as if the person that it belonged to was enjoying what was happening to the man. I still wasn't quite sure what happened to the man that had melted. At the very least there should have been a puddle. Yet the grass where he had been standing wasn't even wet.

     Now I've been left with a stain on my life that couldn't ever forget. Friends turned on me and soon were taunting. At first it was only hurtful words but eventually it escalated to pranks. The problem was that not even the adults seemed to care that their children were now bullying me. Some of the parents only added fuel to the fire by referring to me as a "sociopath". These days at least so long as I keep my head down and keep out of peoples way they leave me alone. Yet that still doesn't stop the looks. The scared looks as they wondered what I was up to. Wondering when I was going to do something to hurt someone or if I've already done it. 

     At the very least I still have my mom by my side. I've lost count of the number of times she shouted at someone for saying something about me. Lecturing parents for not setting a better example to their children. She's even barked at a few of my classmates when she's found out about the pranks pulled on me. I wasn't sure where I would be if I hadn't had my mom in my corner all these years. At least I just have one more year before I go off to college. Before I can leave all these people behind and start over. I'll be sad to leave my mom here but I knew that I couldn't live my whole life here. 

     I'm about half way home when I hear something behind me. It sounded like a pair of heels on the sidewalk. The kind that when they hit the ground the sound seemed to echo. Turning around I was surprised that there wasn't anyone there. I shook my head thinking that maybe I was just hearing things. I was stopped in my tracks when I turned around to find a woman standing there just a few feet in front of me. Where had she come from?

     The woman wore a suit with a pencil skirt that was an off white color. She was at least seven feet tall with skin that was a golden tan. Her dirty blond hair fell down to her waist in waves. Her smiling lips were a lush red. What was most startling though about her were her eyes. Her eyes were a sea green and they seemed to shift between blue and green. She looked like an amazon woman that also works for Victoria Secrets as a model.

     "My, my little Emma Star you sure have grown up." she said her voice sounding like it was coming from all around me.

     "How do you know my name?" I wondered.

     "I've been watching you for a very long time and I think you're finally ready." she replied.

     "Ready for what?"

     Rather than answering she just holds her hand out and opens it. Resting in her hands was a fountain pen but none like I've ever seen before. The pen looked like it was completely made of crystal that sparkled in the sun light. The tip looked like it could be silver by was closer to white in color. I took the pen out of her hand turning it over and over noticing how it seemed to hum slightly. I felt like I really was crazy because it almost seemed like the pen was happy to be in my hands. 

     Looking up from the pen the woman was gone. I turned around but I only found myself standing on the sidewalk holding this beautiful fountain pen in my hand. Sticking the pen in my pocket I quickened my pace to get home. I had a good feeling that this little incident wasn't something I would want to repeat to anyone. I'm already labeled as a sociopath in this town. I didn't need to give people more of a reason to think that I needed to be committed. 

     My problem now was that couldn't have just been my imagination. I could feel a very real pen in my pocket still humming slightly. Then again there are some insane people out there that imagine things that they believe to be completely real. Anything was possible right?